By Indie pop badass all dressed in red, Caroline Rose is still riding high after the 2018 release of her third studio album, LONER. Seeing Rose perform live never disappoints. There will be lights. There will be a yard sale-esque ofrenda of miscellaneous tour relics at the base of the drum kit. There will be an impromptu play knock-down-drag-out between Rose and her guitarist Abby, revived by the animated mime of mouth-to-mouth from her short-shorts-clad drummer. Or, perhaps, none of those things. Something entirely different, equally whimsical and seat-of-the-pants. You’ll never know what to expect from a Caroline Rose show other than it will be brimming with light, color, and weird dance moves.
Photo: Adriana Ariza
The performance is a pure contagion that will crawl up every inch of your skin and invade your mind with exhilaration and joy because it’s just so goddamn fun. The single greatest delight is to watch Rose work a stage: she’s both entirely at ease and in her element, instinctually attuned to her craft as an entertainer, while also amazed that people are this excited to see her perform. She’s taken aback by the fame. She might even be uncomfortable with it, but that doesn’t deter her—she’s going to do her thing whether you’re into it or not. There is never a moment where Caroline Rose isn’t 100% Caroline Rose when she’s on the stage. She becomes so instantly accessible, she’s the embodiment of the weird parts of ourselves we’re afraid to be, which in turn infects the crowd with Rose-branded vivacity. Not convinced this is something worthy of your time and money to go see? Take the quiz!
1) It’s Saturday night, what are you doing?
a. I was at the Caroline Rose concert at Teragram. I literally went with you, what do you mean what was I doing?
b. Game night with friends, then going out! I’m all about having fun with my pals.
c. Curling up with a good book and a cup of tea, or glass of wine and HGTV.
d. Gathering materials for my 100% vegan, pagan ritual to curse my enemies.
Photo: Adriana Ariza
2) It’s your turn to DJ, what do you put on?
a. Does this mean you didn’t listen to the playlist I made you?
b. You know we’re throwing it back to classic Britney, maybe a little Spice Girls or the new Ariana Grande, any car ride inevitably turns into a sing-along-dance-party with me at the helm.
c. I usually like something a little quieter, maybe classical or jazz, but I’ll get a little wild once in a while and spring for Death Cab, can’t get enough of “I’ll Follow You into the Dark,” it’s like the soundtrack to my life.
d. A medley of satanic chants and death metal with the occasional podcast about cleansing your soul through the power of positive thinking
Photo: Adriana Ariza
3) Cocktail of choice?
a. Are you seriously asking me? Whiskey Ginger, I get the same thing every time we go out–we have the same drink order! That’s how we became friends in the first place!
b. I’m a shot of tequila, baby! Or something classic like a rum and coke.
c. I don’t drink that much, but if I do, it’s probably wine.
d. Perilla, hawthorn berries, lime, and of course water, but add a dash of hot brandy for my personal take on immortaliTEA.
Photo: Adriana Ariza
4) You’re walking alone down a sparsely lit street to meet up with a friend; you’re a little nervous, as you don’t know this part of town or where you’re going. You think you hear someone in the alley you’re approaching, but when you round the bend, there’s nothing but a faint glow coming from behind a dumpster. The glow gets brighter until it solidifies into the form of a human-sized Gila Monster, standing upright on two legs and wearing a neck scarf and bookish spectacles. The Gila Monster introduces himself as the keeper of the realms and a warm sense of security washes over you. He explains the multidimensionality of the universe, and how in this timeline, you will momentarily come across six people waiting outside the club. Five are standing on one side of the door, one on the other. A drunk driver will swerve around the corner, heading straight for the group of five people. You’ll be able to push a trash can into his car, diverting the car away from hitting the group of five, but directly into the person standing alone. The car will hit one group of people or the other and no one will get out of the way on time. Do you allow the car to hit the group of five? Or do you push the trash can, condemning the one?
a. Did you go off your meds again?
b. Well first off, it would be rude not to invite a interdimensional space lizard to join you for drinks, I bet they party hard! But I don’t think I could be responsible for killing someone, the car would have hit the five people anyway.
c. I wouldn’t have been walking alone in an unfamiliar area, but this is clearly just a presentation of the classic philosophical dilemma, “The Train Problem,” in a poorly ported rendering, so I would probably save the five people.
d. Let the five people die but make sure to cast a spell first so they come back from the underworld to serve you in revenge.
Photo: Adriana Ariza
5) Your friend accidentally tells you she’s bringing you to your surprise birthday party, what are you hoping is on the other side?
a. Awww you’re planning me a surprise party? Okay not trying to drop hints or anything, but Japanese Breakfast is supposed to be playing that night, I’m thinking that, and then brewery hopping in the Arts District?
b. I’m always excited for a night of dancing or music, but I’ve been wanting to try something more adventurous like an escape room, or axe throwing!
c. I would hope for a day filled with all my favorite things, maybe going to an old bookstore, or a craft fair, topped off with a good cheese board and some close friends.
d. I would enjoy company while throwing rocks off a bridge at kayakers below.
Photo: Adriana Ariza
If You Had Mostly…
As: You would have a great time at a Caroline Rose show! You’d come for the music and stay for the people you met wearing the same Illuminati Hotties band-tee as you. In fact, you probably don’t need me to tell you this, you’ve been bumping “Jeannie Becomes a Mom” all summer! And fall. Okay and most of winter too… but you’ve had a taste of the red Kool-Aid and hey–it’s not poisoned, just spiked with copious amounts of cheap vodka (and whiskey. You heard me). Next time she comes through your hometown, her show is a night well spent.
Bs: Even remotely curious? You should absolutely go catch a Caroline Rose show! You’re open to expanding your horizons, but this ultimately is a really fun night of dancing and music that is right up your ally. A great place to take friends! You don’t have to be intimately familiar with her music to have a blast, her pure spunk de vivre is engrossing enough; it doesn’t matter if you’re singing along, or hearing the song for the first time. Oh, and you’re in luck, she does a kick-ass rendition of “Toxic,” so you get your Britney fix.
Cs: You don’t typically go to concerts, excluding the token jazz night at your local; a concert of this energy might be daunting or overwhelming, or just something you don’t get around to often. On either end of the spectrum–fear not! (or should I say, Fuck Fear)—the eclectic and exhilarating specticle is worth your time. Whether it’s pulling you out of your comfort zone entirely, or just shaking up your routine, the experience is well worth observing. The audience is even-keeled: from those dancing up a storm at the front, to those bopping heads in the back, there’s a place for everybody
Ds: Okay maybe not you… but honestly, she’s pretty sarcastic and has a dark wit and humor so you’d probably have a great time. Smuggle in some immortaliTEA and add a shot of brandy from the bar, sit back, and enjoy. Just try not to light anyone on fire while you’re there and by the end, nothing seems weird and everyone belongs, so you’ll fit right in!
Didn’t feel like you fit any of the answers above? Huh, weird, I can’t imagine why. Well, that most likely means you should give Caroline Rose a listen, and keep an eye out for when she comes to a venue near you. If you like happiness, or maybe even if you don’t, this show is worth your time.
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